The partner is talking.  “So it sounds like we need to move up the timeline to address these issues in time.  Johnny and Elisa will do the deep dive into the manufacturing line, and Jeff will handle the customer interviews.”

Silence from the client.  The team is looking down.

I fold my laptop and wander into the hall.  There’s a conference room around the corner.  The lights blink on.  I shut the lights off.

My mind is racing.  We almost got into an argument there.  The partner.  She was pissed.  Fuck.  There goes my weekend.  Who schedules a client meeting on Monday mornings?.

I try to go into a grounding exercise but my mind keeps on racing.

Fuck it.

I cue up my stopwatch and begin a breath sequence.

30 breaths. Exhale. Hold.

My mind instantly wanders.  Why the fuck am I wasting my time?  I should get to looking at the slides.  The stopwatch shows 20 seconds.

It’s ok, you’ve been stuck before.  Try again.

30 breaths. Exhale. Hold.

My mind wanders.  This is not going to work.  The stopwatch shows 30 seconds.

Release.  Inhale through my nose.  Now do the grounding exercise.

Now do the grounding exercise.

Copper wires from my feet, sacrum and middle of my head going into the center of the earth, connecting with the diamond core.

My heart is thumping.  Lub-dub.  Lub-dub.  There’s a swish to it.

All of the energy, all of the tension conducts into the earth.

Tension in my diaphragm.  I deliberately tense it.

A feeling of failure, of loss.  

Let the feelings go into the earth.

Blood rushes to my head.  I open my mouth wide, raise my eyebrows, stretching my face.  A silent yawn.  Heat rises in my gut.

I hold for five counts more.

Deep inhale through my nose.  I hold it at the top, pushing the blood into my head.  I exhale with a hollow whistle.

One minute fifteen seconds.

I inhale and hold a few more times, exhaling each time with a hollow whistle.

The breath is delicious liquid.

My mind is quiet.